Hey there everybodies! I haven't really written anything in a while, so I decided to "write" a journal entry... also meaning paste a bunch of funny quotes I have collected over the years into this little white box.

So, I collected these from various things I've watched/read, and I found them amusing... hopefully you will too, even if they are out of context.

YATS = YuGiOh the Abridged series
ATAS = Avatar the Abridged series
NTAS = Naruto the Abridged seires (creepy that all three of those line up exactly...)



"I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. Then he would have to wear my suit, and it would be too short and he'd look... well, he still look good."
~Michael, the Office

"I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke."
~Michael, the Office

"We could have been great together, Lex"
"I'm planning on being great all by myself."
~Smallville, Lex and girlfriend.

"That's why I tease you so much. Back then, I was a fat and gloomy kid. I was constantly bullied. I even thought of getting revenge by killing everyone but you were the only one who stood up for me. I didn't want you to think I was a jerk since I liked you so I didn't do it."

PAM: If you don't take his battery out, he just keeps going all day. Oh no Michael, your battery fell out!
MICHAEL: I was just learning to love... *shuts down*

MICHAEL: *to office* You all took a life here today. The life of the party.

DWIGHT: I disagree. R is one of the most menacing letters. That's why it's "murder" and not "mukdek."

Tristan: Dude, no matter what happens to us I want you to remember one thing, in another few hours the sun will rise!
Duke: What?
Tristan: In another few hours the sun will rise!
Duke: What the **** does that mean?
Tristan: I don't know but it's true!! *sob*
~YTAS

“It’s a shame rich megalomaniacs are immune from the law. Otherwise, we could just call the police!”
~YTAS

KAIBA: (voiceover) We lived in an orphanage, because I had fired our parents. It was a very depressing time in my life, since I didn’t have any money, so I was unable to screw the rules. Mokuba was often bullied, and when you’re getting picked on by orphans, you know you’re a loser.
~YATS

Yami: Kaaaaaaibaaaa. Waaaaaaaake uuuuuup.
Kaiba: Hey Yugi. Are you here to duel me or something?
Yami: Nooooooo. I would just kick you buuuuuutt.
Kaiba: Why are you talking like that?
Yami: I am the ghost of Christmas Paaaaaaaast. I’m here to shooow yooouuu-
Kaiba: Stop talking like that!
Yami: Kay.
~YATS

Kaiba: And what the hell was that supposed to teach me?
Yami: What, you don’t know?
Kaiba: No. Enlighten me.
Yami: Look, if you don’t know I’m not telling you.
Kaiba: Get the hell out of my bedroom.
Yugi: That’s what she said.
Kaiba: GET OUT!!!
~YATS

Yami: Well at least I’m not adopted.
Seto: .. what did you just say?
Yami: What? What are you going to do? Cry home to mommy? Oh wait, YOU DON’T HAVE ONE!
~YATS

Yugi: So let me get this straight. According to this show the egyptian gods are real.
Shadi: Yes.
Yugi: But doesn't that mean all other religions are wrong and the hokey ancient egyptian one is the only real one?
Shadi: Yes.
Yugi: didn't see that one coming.
Shadi: I did!
~YATS

"Not everyone's going to have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance, but I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. That's why I pay taxes."
~Glee, coach

Dwight: Superior brain power. I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it, duh.
~The Office, Health Care

SUE: I'm tired of hearing people complain "I'm riddled with that disease" or "I was in that tsunami" To them I say, shake it up a bit. Get out of your box! Even if that box happens to be where you're living. I ask these people, how's being homeless for you? Then I say, give not being homeless a try, huh?"
~Glee

I'm a Chingstah
I'm an asian wannabe
I don't hang with the G's, I just roll with the C's
When I skip down the street, all the people, they see
A super badass Chingstah, they wannabe me.
Who are you? I'm a Chingstah!
What you want? Ice Cream!
Where at? I'm home!
Whats 3 x 3? Nine!
Who farted? That was me!
Favorite Jonas? Trick Question!
Best Rapper? Dr. Suess
Who's Yo Daddy? My Mom!
~Nigahiga

"Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk, there's no point."
~Milton Fine, Smallville

“Oh man, this class sucks.” I looked over and rolled my eyes at his groan of protest.
“You’ve slept the entire time,” I said bluntly.
“And I thought when I woke up, it’d be over. What a drag.”
~Naruto fanfic

Zaraki tells Yachiru a story before her bedtime. Usually, in his stories, everyone else is killed and the protagonist walks off laughing into the sunset (sometimes with a unicorn in tow).
~Bleach "Random Acts of Bleachness" fanfic

Michael Scott: What about our truce?
Dwight Schrute: I broke it.
Michael Scott: On purpose?
Dwight Schrute: Yes!
Michael Scott: Why?
Dwight Schrute: You think this is some kind of game? No. This is a war. I will not stop I will not rest. You have no idea what kind of enemy you've created. You have unleashed the wolf!
Michael Scott: Be that as it may, I have your... meatball parm sandwich here, and I am going to eat it.
Dwight Schrute: And I knew that you would do that. Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich!
Michael Scott: [choking on his bite] Ah! Bastard!

Red Cross woman: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Michael Scott: No, Rose, they are not breathing. And, they have no arms or legs.
Red Cross woman: No that's not part of it.
Michael Scott: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother
resuscitating them? I mean what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Kevin: I would wanna live with no legs.
Michael Scott: How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin, you don't do anything.

"Sir, I think you should buckle up!"
"Buckle this! Ludicrous speed, GO!"
~Spaceballs

"I think I just had an evilgasm"
~The Order of the Stick

"Apparently you're trying to fuck all this shit up!” I said loudly, swinging my arms out as to show just how much
shit she was fucking up.
~Bleach fanfic

"Do you have a name?"
"Lilynette. What about you, do you have a name? Even though you're just me.."
"Starrk."
"Starrk, what will we do now?"
"We can do anything."
"Ok, then where shall we go?"
"Wherever.... but let's stick together."
"Forever."
~Bleach (<3)

"I'm here for your blue eyes, old man, so hand it over"
"No!"
"Curses, foiled again."
~YTAS

"holy **** on a ****ing sandwich with **** on top... and a side helping of ****"
~YTAS

"Grandpa!! Are you okay?!"
"For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured."
~YTAS

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to"
~Jerry Seinfeld

"an exasperated juvenile court judge declared that the automobile was 'a house of prostitution on wheels'"
~Davidson (780)

"the Round Lick Association of Primitive Baptists"
~Davidson (795)

Buffy: *to spike* "What are you doing here? Five words."
Spike: "Out for a walk... Bitch."

"Uh, Sokka, you're a comic relief character. You couldn't fight off a short bus full of nuns."
~Kitara, ATAS ep. 2

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the dragon of the west, the once great general Iroh"
"Once great? That not what your wife said last night"
"He burned you there sir"
"Shut up!"
~ATAS

"Did you just crush a rock in your hand?"
"Nah, It was a dirt clod."
"Well that's much less cool."
~Naruto Abridged Series

"Are you here to take me to the Neverending story, Mr. Dragon?"
"Close enough."
"Yeah... kiss my ass, eragon"
~ATAS

"Oh please. They're all lined up in a straight line with their guns all pointing the same way. They're probably French."
~ATAS

"ROFLMAO! Learn to play noobs!"
~ATAS



You made it to the bottom! Congratulations! Hopefully that was somewhat entertaining. It was for me. ;D
Anywho, I have about that much more (most of them from the TV show Psych. Ever watched it? No? Watch it NOW.)

<3 <3 <3 Jackie